Cotton Reviews Independence Day Resurgence (2016)

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One of the issues that I have with a lot of the modern blockbusters that I’ve endured over the past several years is how far they’ve sunk. In writing, they tell you to avoid telling and show the audience what’s happening in your book. Yet, all these modern blockbusters, all they do is tell. They don’t show. You’re told what is happening and why this event that is happening is important. Gone are the days, it seems, when blockbusters, as dumb as they’ve been, can have things like charisma, genuine humor, and over the top stunts that while we know are impossible in real life, we can be led to believe they could happen.

Now, we just have the dumb.

The dumb with overly laden CGI sequences that is the same as watching your buddy play videogames. Hell, even that is popular nowadays! For me, I don’t want to watch someone play a videogame, I want to freaking play, so when I see a movie that is nothing but computer generated sequences after computer generated sequences, I have this itch to play, but I can’t, because I’m watching a non-interactive freaking movie that has no sense of danger because its all been shot against a green screen.

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There have even been dumb blockbusters in the past that I’ve enjoyed. Like Independence Day from the 1996. It was a big, loud, plot hole laden, and dumb film if you thought about it for too long. What made Independence Day a success? Oh, that’s right, it had charisma, genuine humor, and characters that you cared about. Never mind the absurdity of the plot. The destruction of major landmarks looked like it was happening because, damn it, computer generated effects weren’t what they are 20 years later. And, it at least attempted to tell a cohesive story, with a clear three act structure. It might not have been intelligent, but it thrilled and entertained so much that one could forget the film’s shortcomings and just go along for the ride.

Independence Day: Resurgence shouldn’t even count as a film. The eye candy doesn’t matter because the movie doesn’t thrill. The humor is forced and when it is sort of funny it is at the film’s own expense. Like they are making fun of their own product. Like the producers are giving one big middle finger to the audience member who paid $10 for a ticket, $8 for a popcorn, and $7 for a soda to watch this epic P.O.S. film. This film angered me. It pissed me off. I’ve not even discussed anything about the film at length because there is nothing to discuss. They could have made this film 15 minutes long and spared us the additional 105 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. For all the money spent of fancy special effects it bores the shit out of the audience. This film isn’t worth a review. It is only worth a rant. I truly hope that Hollywood can get its act together and release some genuinely thrilling popcorn films once again. Looking at the endless batch of Marvel, DC Universe, and sequels over the next several summers, I highly doubt it.

You should have already guessed. But, this film gets an F. There is nothing redeemable about it. Avoid at all costs.

 

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